CDO Councilors working at CDO
By Patrick Malone

Foggy Bottom, July 17th, 2003

Chaos reigned early today as suddenly and profoundly every staff member of the George Washington Law School Career Development Office realized where, in fact, they were working.

“Oh God!” choked Assistant Dean for Career Development Joan Strand through a throat full of tears and mucus. “I’m an assistant Dean. Who wants to grow up to be an assistant? My broken dreams litter the e-building like a shattered stained-glass window.”

Liza Ramirez, assistant recruitment manager, had similar feelings. “I work under Amy Caster,” she moaned. “Under Amy ‘I-shake-hands-like-a-little-dutch-boy’ Caster. Oh woe is me!”

Director of Career Development, Fred Thrasher swan-dived out of a 4th story window.

Most hard hit was part time career counselor Ray Hazen. “Part time career counselor? What does that even mean? How could anyone have a less fulfilling job or life? I’m jealous of fulltime hobos.” Hazen broke down into silent, forlorn, weeping.

After the breakdown, many of the CDO workers decided to switch professions. However, none of them were able to help themselves, or each other, find work.